Praying for My Marriage...

The word bold is defined by Oxford Dictionary as a willingness to take risk or step into the unknown.  This definition is similar to the definition of Faith which means a belief that is hoped for but not seen.  However, both of these definitions require one for element for them to be effectual.  That element is belief in something or a vision to follow.  In regards to faith, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that faith is connected to the Savior.  The Church’s fourth article of Faith states:  We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.”  We defining Christ as our view point for faith.  With the word bold, we also need a vision.  Bold steps seldom happen without an acknowledgment towards a direction or a belief.  Take for instance Columbus, who made a bold move in feeling he could reach India by a different path.  He had a vision.  Had he not had a vision, he would never have taken the first bold step. 

So what does this have to do with marriage?  Today I take a bold step in proclaiming my vision of faith in the institution of marriage.  I believe “that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (The Family Proclamation).  Using this as my vision for marriage I am able to take bold steps in my marriage.  One bold step that I use in my marriage is to pray, in faith, for my marriage on a regular basis.  I pray for it as if it were a living, breathing entity.  I learned from a wise religious leader that from all of the couples he counseled on marriage, he would first ask them if they prayed together as a couple and for their marriage.  Nearly 100% of the time the couples answered no, they did not pray as a couple or for their marriage. 

I have composed a list of three reasons any couple should pray for their marriage and about their marriage.

1.     Marriage as a whole is under attack

·      Many intuitions including our government, has redefined marriage as any contract between two consenting adults.  However, for the record, only 5 of the 4 court justices wanted define marriage this way.  And Justices Thomas and Scalia both said, “The Court’s decision today is at odds not only with the Constitution, but with the principles upon which our Nation was built.”  Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said, “Because of the importance of the family to the eternal plan of happiness, Satan makes a major effort to destroy the sanctity of the family, demean the importance of the role of men and women, encourage moral uncleanliness and violations of the sacred law of chastity, and to discourage parents from placing the bearing and rearing of children as one of their highest priorities.” By understanding how the definition and sanctity of marriage is changing, couples can pray to know how to proceed. 

2.     As a married couple you should be a defender of the intuition of which you are now a part of

·      By praying for marriage a couple can become defenders of marriage.  Pres. Russell M. Nelson said, “Disciples of the Lord are defenders of marriage.”  He also said, “The greatest guardians of any and all virtues are marriage and family. This is particularly the case with the virtues of chastity and fidelity in marriage, both of which are required to create enduring and fully rewarding marriage partnerships and family relationships. Male and female are created for what they can do and become, together. It takes a man and a woman to bring a child into the world. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Men and women are distinct and complementary. Children deserve a chance to grow up with both a mom and a dad.”  By praying as a couple, your vision will change and allow you to take bold steps towards defending marriage. 

3.     Good examples

·      My husband and I pray regularly to be a good example of what a good marriage should be.  I deeply want this for my children.  With divorce, cohabitation, and out of wedlock parenting becoming the norm, many children do not have a good example of what a marriage should look like.  By praying for this, you can become that good example.  The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 21:22 reads, “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”  God does hear and answer prayers.  Pray for your marriage, especially as a couple, and your prayers will be answered. 

Social media is full of examples of divorce.  Please leave a comment about good marriage examples your have seen in your life. 

Love and Marriage

Love and marriage.  It has been basis for TV shows, songs, fodder for jokes, and the stuff that dreams are made of.  But when it comes taking the plunge into love and marriage, most people repeat the ill fated statistic “50% of all marriages end in divorce” as the reason for running for the uncoupling door. Dan Hurley of the New York Times said of this statistic, “…researchers say that this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying, and that the statistic is virtually useless in understanding divorce rates. In fact…studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that, with rates now declining, it probably never will.” Often unhappiness in a relationship leads us to want to redefine our love. But think of this statistic—“Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce reported being happily married five years later.”

So what of love and marriage?  How then can we be happily married, even and especially if our love and marriage isn’t what we envisioned it to be?  James E. Faust said, “True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.”  Charity can be defined as kindliness or generosity in helping someone.  I propose that by asking the person you love each day, “What can I do for you today?” will change your relationship.  I’ve been practicing this principle for over a year now.  Oh, it may not be everyday, but I feel that if I ask my spouse this question eventually it will come back to me.  I first read about this idea here.  When I started asking this question, my husband seemed a bit skeptical.  It was usually a small thing like washing his laundry or taking out the trash for him because he didn’t have time.  Occasionally it was filling my own car up with gas (I hate filling my car with gas).  Now I find that he has started asking me that question before I even ask him.  Just the other day, as I was drudging through schoolwork and cleaning, he called me up and asked me what I wanted for lunch from a particular restaurant.  My sweet and handsome husband realized that I was preoccupied and brought me lunch.  He did something for me that I wasn’t getting around to that day.  This is true generosity, true charity, thus true love.  Try it! 

Share your experience here with asking, “What can I do for you today?”