Love and Marriage

Love and marriage.  It has been basis for TV shows, songs, fodder for jokes, and the stuff that dreams are made of.  But when it comes taking the plunge into love and marriage, most people repeat the ill fated statistic “50% of all marriages end in divorce” as the reason for running for the uncoupling door. Dan Hurley of the New York Times said of this statistic, “…researchers say that this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying, and that the statistic is virtually useless in understanding divorce rates. In fact…studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that, with rates now declining, it probably never will.” Often unhappiness in a relationship leads us to want to redefine our love. But think of this statistic—“Two out of three unhappily married adults who avoided divorce reported being happily married five years later.”

So what of love and marriage?  How then can we be happily married, even and especially if our love and marriage isn’t what we envisioned it to be?  James E. Faust said, “True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day.”  Charity can be defined as kindliness or generosity in helping someone.  I propose that by asking the person you love each day, “What can I do for you today?” will change your relationship.  I’ve been practicing this principle for over a year now.  Oh, it may not be everyday, but I feel that if I ask my spouse this question eventually it will come back to me.  I first read about this idea here.  When I started asking this question, my husband seemed a bit skeptical.  It was usually a small thing like washing his laundry or taking out the trash for him because he didn’t have time.  Occasionally it was filling my own car up with gas (I hate filling my car with gas).  Now I find that he has started asking me that question before I even ask him.  Just the other day, as I was drudging through schoolwork and cleaning, he called me up and asked me what I wanted for lunch from a particular restaurant.  My sweet and handsome husband realized that I was preoccupied and brought me lunch.  He did something for me that I wasn’t getting around to that day.  This is true generosity, true charity, thus true love.  Try it! 

Share your experience here with asking, “What can I do for you today?”