And the floods came up...

Recently we have received a great deal of rain.  When it rains, I worry that the basement will flood.  We have had issues in the past and I do not wish to repeat them.  Five years ago, our basement window leaked a great deal of water into my daughter’s bedroom.  I ran outside with a gallon bucket to bail water out of the window well to ease the drain that was at the bottom of the well.  Once the rain stopped we mopped up the water and began the process of drying out the walls.  The flood helped us see a weakness in our house that we were unaware of.  That summer we built a retaining wall around the side of the house that kept the water and rain from coming right up to the house.  We changed the drains and the way they faced to help us deal with the water.  This worked well for past several years.  However, last summer we noticed that the wall was starting to fall apart.  We wondered how we should deal with it, as we are not water/landscaping experts.  We discovered some flaws in our plan and ended up paying to have the side of the house professionally landscaped and protected from water.  This has yielded great results this winter with all the rain we have received. 

In marriages, we can have emotional floods.  This can happen during times of stress, trials, illnesses or even every day miscommunications.  John Gottman stated: “Flooding…occurs [when] you feel overwhelmed both emotionally and physically.”  Dealing with any issue during a flood is near pointless.  The flood must be dealt with first.  The first way to help the flooding is to stop it.  Just as physically we stop a spill or find out where the water is coming in at we need to emotionally stop the conversation.  Second, we can deal with flooding by self-soothing.  This is like applying towels to spilled water.  It stops the flood from spreading.  A clean up is always in order after a flood is stopped, so it is emotionally as well.  By recognizing our own cause in the flood, the triggers behind it, we are able to stop a flood in its tracks.  However, just like with our brick wall, our own methods of dealing with emotional flooding may only work for so long.  Sometimes outside help is needed.  Reading a marriage book, attending a marital seminary or even professional counseling can help dealing with our own emotions. 

We can recover from emotional flooding.  We don’t have to be victims to the destruction of it for years to come.  Our marriages can even be better after dealing with the flood.  Ether 13:2 reads, “After the waters had receded from off the face of this land it became a choice land above all other lands, a chosen land of the Lord.”  Our marriages can become chosen and a choice place to dwell after we deal with the emotional floods that stop our growth. 

Here is a video to help you better understand flooding: