Marriage: Attending God’s Graduate School

H. Wallace Goddard stated in his book, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, "Marriage is God's graduate school for advanced training in Christian character.”  My husband attended graduate school to become a dentist.  One of the most characteristic things I discovered about his teachers and the administrators was that they did not want anyone to fail.  They helped, tutored, and encouraged each student along, seeking anyway to help that person succeed at being a dentist.  Likewise, God invites each of us into his graduate school through marriage.  The first couple we gain knowledge of is Adam and Eve.  They are set as an example for us to learn from. As we look to Adam and Eve, we gain several lessons from them. 

1.     How to “Turn Towards” each other. 

·      When Eve first partook of the fruit, she went and asked Adam to partake.  She did not turn away from him, even though she knew what she had done.  Adam likewise did not turn from Eve and remain in the Garden of Eden with out her.  They took struggles and issues that were presented before them and worked through them together.  John Gottman said, “A tendency to turn toward your partner is the basis of trust.”  Being able to trust our spouse and turn to them with our trials and struggles strengthens our bond. 

2.     How to look towards Christ

·      “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36).  As Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, they encountered many trials and much sorrow.  It was not an easy path that they chose.  Nor is marriage for anyone.  The way to eternal life isn’t easy either.  However, in all of their struggles, “Adam and Eve blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons and their daughters” (Moses 5:12). Teaching of and looking towards God gave them an eternal prospective.

3.     We are not alone; we have a pattern to follow.

·      Adam and Eve, at first may have felt alone in their new surroundings.  But God did not leave them alone long.  He sent angels to minister unto them.  Bruce C. Hafen said, “The story of Adam and Eve is the pattern for our own marriage, our lives, and the personal meaning of the Atonement.  The story of Christ’s life is the story of giving the Atonement.  But the life story of Adam and Eve is the story of receiving the Atonement.  Especially in that sense, their lives and their marriage set the pattern for our own. 

Using these three lessons from Adam and Eve can help us through our own graduate school of marriage.  Working hard and attending graduate school have blessed my husband.  He has never regretted it.  Our marriages can be the same way; we will be blessed by working hard and attending to our marriages.